Serious looking for ltr

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I have noticed this recently from posts I have seen and other people I have talked to. How common do you think this is? Why not just say you are not looking for something serious, and if it happens it happens? Well, they still get to choose who they want to have a LTR with. Well of course they choose. People make all kinds of choices. I am not talking about after one date I mean multiple.

My feeling is that you wont ever know until you are in it. Its always a leap of faith. I am looking for a LTR but I would be fine meeting someone where I do not see a LTR but instead see a short term, fun, learn-something-about-myself-forormonths kind of situation. I am not going to settle for a LTR with just anyone although that is what I really want.

IMO the person comes first and the relationship short or long, casual or serious comes after. I was talking with a friend last night and he told me he hates the idea of purposefully dating with the intent of finding something serious; to do it that way seems unnatural and contrived. He prefers to be casual friends who might end up FWB if there's mutual attraction and if from that point love happens, he'd consider it a relationship. It does make sense to do it that way as long as both people are open to something more down the road, I suppose.

It sounds like much less pressure. This is how it worked out w me and my X. We went through the whole course. Although that was more of a happenstance. I never even thought i would wind up dating her. Funny thing she thought i was interested in her because i kept coming around her cubicle. It was actually the girl next to her that i was interested in. If i was to wait around for something like this to happen again it might never happen.

Also as i got older my circle has shrunk. So there not much to pull from there to begin with. I think that's how we ended up being in relationship or even marriage when we were in 20s starting as friends Serious looking for ltr just letting things happen organically without any pressure.

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We were not rushing anything. But with OLD, it's common that if they don't see anything within a few dates, people retreat. It's easy to meet new people and also so easy to just give up. This is my view of things. It feels too pressured and contrived to do it any other way for me. I am looking for LTR and desire it a lot.

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I do not have a candidate with whom Serious looking for ltr felt comfortable developing it I'm going through this right now. Matched with someone, had 2 dates, and as much as I want something committed, I am not sure she is the one at this time. I mean when I got here, I think more than a year ago, I was alone, unsure, wondering what I was doing wrong. Now I think I have seen we all struggle yeah good people struggle, and literature and everything trys to tell you how many times people fail before they succeed, over an over But proof was in the pudding for me, when I saw what I at least assume that although pretty much anonymous, there were people going through the same crap I felt like I was doing alone.

I have matured my mental state, no longer feel that broken. I no longer feel like, well, that the 1st one to come along and make an offer, I would jump at the chance to sell I have had some good offers, that didn't pan out, so it could look like I am LTR averse, when in reality, am actually, "this isn't what I was looking for" averse now, and I think unless it is petty stuff, it is natural, smart, and healthy to have "what about me" helping you make the decisions.

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Even had that on my profile. I did start to feel pretty quickly that it could morph into something more, but wouldn't agree to be exclusive till after a few months of dating. Even if people are looking for LTR's it doesn't mean they will match your timeline in terms of when they are ready to be exclusive or DTR.

That also being said, it could have been a case of the person your friends were dating do want an LTR but they didn't feel it would work with the person they were dating. That has been my experience. I want an LTR. I have been open about it. The last man I dated said he wanted the L8TR specifically with me and did not need space to think about it or me then he changed his mind. You also have to realise, a lot of people are fearful.

They're gunshy.

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So you want this thing, and you really want it bad, and then you're on the precipice of receiving it and bad feelings come up. Bad memories, fear, dread, anxiety. I think I have a bit of this.

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I try very hard to be self aware and communicate my way through the haze. But it's definitely there. There are people who claim they are looking for an LTR, but when it might actually happen, they run. We do get to choose and so do you. Continue this thread. This is my default. Because it's socially acceptable. More posts from the datingoverthirty community. Dating Over Thirty is a sub for discussion and advice on dating and the dating phase of relationships for people over the age of Created Nov 3, Top posts october 9th Top posts of october, Top posts Back to Top.

Serious looking for ltr

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