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You: A good baker, likes to take care of her man with frequent care packages. I am the only guy on who is not looking for sex or female companionship. Those I can get. There is however one thing missing in my life of late. Ever since breaking up with my long distance girlfriend, the amount of unsolicited baked goods arriving in my mailbox has dropped precipitously. Given my relative lack of baking skills and my propensity to avoid paying for food, I figured the most rational solution was to find another long distance girlfriend who enjoys surprising her man with frequent care packages chocolate chip cookies and rice krispies treats are by far the best.

The exchange is simple. You provide regular care package service and in return I provide emotional support, validation and the occasional, "You're right! Your parents will be happy you finally found someone, your friends and coworkers will be jealous that you have a guy who doesn't routinely try to slip it in the "oops hole," and your stalkers should you have any will shake their fists in impotent rage.

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